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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor






They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown






Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990








Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown








Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope






Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis








There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn






I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997



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  • Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw



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  • Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote
    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller



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  • Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968





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